Self Direction…. What does that mean to you? Well to me it means to actually be able to tell myself not to eat that Girl Scout cookie that seems to be calling my name. To be able to choose for myself, regardless of requirements, to continue to wake up at 5 am and do my Master Key readings and my SIT. I decide to persist and succeed or succumb to the ease of skipping a read here and there. (Shut up old Blueprint!!!).
Well this week I was self directed… And there were some really good days, and there were some days that just sort of flew by and I skipped a scroll read, mastermind call, lost my accountability partners number ( it’s still in my favorites list, I just didn’t call it… Thought about it a bunch of times, but then something redirected my thoughts… Typically in my house it’s a crying baby, or a shouty preschooler). Then were the days I did multiple SITS, days where I was very efficient scheduling in my exercises and reads during super busy days, days I wrote out many gratitude, achievement and kindness cards and flashed at least a pile a day (I must have 1,000 cards at this point).
This is brings me to my concern. What do I do once most of the ‘requirements’ are over…. This course is quickly coming to a juncture, a merge from accountability and fidelity of the coursework to a journey of self direction. I am upset but excited, the mood is bittersweet. A chance to leave the comfort of the nest. To try out my wings and fly on my own. To prove to myself ‘I can be what I will to be’. To love my future self, to meet with her and check in. Although there are some parts of me that just likes to resist things I know I’m supposed to do, or required to do. It’s a quirk I have been working on addressing… Because, seriously, what I am not doing is only negatively affecting my manifestations. Duhhh.
So I continue to move forward, to chip cement off this Buddha of mine. To embrace self direction, because it is the only way to achieving my own personal bliss.